Support for Caregivers of Blended Families

As estate plan experts, we frequently help divorced or remarrying couples update their estate plans to protect their new blended families, so we know just how significantly the stress of divorce, family upheaval, and tighter finances can impact a family, and how those effects can last years into the future.

We have seen first-hand how the effects of divorce can continue to make waves 20 or even 30 years down the road — not just for the divorced couple, but for their grown children who come to act as caregivers.

Adult children of divorced parents often find themselves caring not only for mom and dad when they get older, but also for stepmom, stepdad and sometimes even another stepparent from yet a third or current marriage. Dividing time (and often finances) between so many parents with new and special needs can quickly take its toll, as can the family politics that come with adult siblings, half siblings, and step-siblings.

With all of this complexity and intermingling family ties, it is more important than ever to have conversations about estate planning and long-term care with parents and siblings before mom and dad (and stepmom and stepdad) get to an age where they need in-home or around-the-clock nursing care.

This article in a recent issue of the CSA Journal from the Society of Certified Senior Advisors gives tips on how to conduct a meeting of blended families to discuss the care of parents and stepparents.

While open communication between blended family members is key, a good estate plan can also go a long way towards eliminating potential fighting and confusion by clearly defining who will be making financial decisions and who should be making health care decisions when mom or dad become incapacitated.  A caregiver agreement can also provide clarity, as well as financial assistance to the one sibling who inevitably ends up shouldering most of the care-giving burden.

If you are a part of a blended family talk to your parents and siblings now about any challenges the future may bring — and how to meet those challenges together.